


Back and Forth

by forgetmequite



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Simon Lewis/Maia Roberts, F/M, Gen, M/M, POV Maia Roberts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 15:11:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14108085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetmequite/pseuds/forgetmequite
Summary: Thirteen drinks with Maia.





	Back and Forth

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in August and at some point had such a long break from it that I forgot what my initial plan for it was. I still liked some scenes I'd already written a lot and didn't want to scrap the whole thing, so here is, uh, something. This was my first time writing Maia; I hope I did her even some kind of justice.
> 
> Apologies for the comparatively rushed ending/final quarter. I meant to finish this before S3 started airing but didn't quite manage. I got lucky with 3.01 not destroying my planned vibe for the last section, but considering some stuff from the S3 trailers I dare not take my chances with 3.02 and wanted to post this today to get it out of the way.

1.

On her third day of working at the Hunter’s Moon, Maia met Magnus Bane for the first time.

She was alone at the bar; Gretel was in the back getting more ice. It was a slow evening, just a few solitary people sipping their drinks and what looked like a group playing bridge in one corner table. The bell by the door chimed and a tall man in a coat Maia quite literally would have killed for stepped in. He walked to the counter with just the sort of slow grace that let her admire the coat a little longer.

“Good evening,” he said as he took a seat.

“Good evening.” She suppressed a smile. “Nice coat.”

“Thank you.” The man looked at her closely, eyes drifting down from her face; Maia had dealt with her share of creeps, but she wasn’t getting that vibe here at all. It simply felt like a casual fashion check, just like she’d given him earlier. “Your outfit is impeccable as well.”

She smiled widely at him. “Thanks. What can I get you?”

The man smiled back. “A martini, please.”

She made the drink and handed it over. “Waiting for someone?”

“Not tonight,” the man said before taking a sip. “I like the atmosphere of the place. There’s something special about it, don’t you think?”

Maia was trying to come up with something that wouldn’t sound like self-aggrandizement coming from an employee, but she never got the chance to say it. The man’s head turned suddenly and his gaze landed on a fairly loud group in the corner that had been coming up to the counter regularly for new drinks.

“Someone you recognise?” Maia asked.

“Someone I shouldn’t, at least on this side of the Atlantic,” the man said, stood up and quickly set a bill on the counter. “Keep the change, lovely to meet you.”

Confused and curious, Maia watched as the man made his way to the corner table and, or at least so it seemed, faked a cough and raised an eyebrow, which seemed to be all that was needed for one of the group to stare up at him in horror and literally portal himself out of the bar.

She didn’t hear the words the man said to the rest of the table, nor did she get a chance to ask about it because the man portalled away himself straight after.

The bill was still on the counter. Maia reached for it, and was both shocked and not to realise she was looking at Benjamin Franklin’s face.

“Wow.” Gretel suddenly appeared at her shoulder. “Nice going. Who was it?”

“I didn’t get a name,” Maia said. “A warlock with authority and a great coat.”

“Magnus Bane.” Gretel grinned. “Figures. High Warlock of Brooklyn. Best. Tipper. Ever.”

Maia smiled back at her. “Any chance he’s a regular?”

“I wish.” Gretel nudged gently at Maia’s side with her elbow. “Do you already know where to take the empty cardboard boxes?”

 

\---

 

2.

It turned out that Magnus Bane had a drink at the Hunter’s Moon with regular irregularity. He was always well-dressed, impeccably polite and, curiously enough, mostly alone. There was a beautiful woman – Catarina, going by their conversation – who accompanied him sometimes, but those were exceptions.

He was, by far, Maia’s favourite customer, and not only because very generous tipping seemed to be the only kind he knew.

“Hello again,” he said the second time Maia served him a drink. “My excuses for the abrupt departure the last time.”

“No problem.” Maia gave him her widest smile. “Martini again?”

Magnus smiled back, clearly delighted. As if he was easy to forget about. “Yes, please.”

 

\---

 

3.

It was a few months into their acquaintance that Maia ever saw him arrive in a less than pleasant mood.

“Your usual?” she asked. It was a slow night, and he was a welcome sight to dissuade the occasional boredom.

Magnus slumped on the bar stool, his eyes falling closed. “Make it a double. And a whiskey, neat, please.”

Maia started to fulfil the order, but she couldn’t help watching Magnus sympathetically.

“Rough day?”

He looked up and gave her a smile. If she’d never met him before, she’d have been sure it was genuine. “Rough life, my dear. Isn’t everyone’s?”

By now, Maia had heard enough about him to know that while they all had their ups and downs in life, Magnus had simply had a whole lot more of life than most. She couldn’t even imagine what that did to your mental space.

She didn’t say that, though. He’d come for a drink, not to give a presentation on all his sorrows. She was a bartender; she’d listen to what was told, and pry when she felt it would be welcome (and make someone buy another drink).

“At times, definitely,” she said and handed him the martini.

Magnus didn’t elaborate. Maia hadn’t really expected him to. He had his drinks and said his goodbyes, but even as Maia pocketed her tip, she couldn’t help hoping that he would, to someone else. She knew what it felt like to feel all alone in the world; she could only hope Magnus Bane’s experience of it was currently in the past tense, too.

 

\---

 

4.

Maia wasn’t secretly reading her marine biology textbook behind the counter. That was to say that she totally was. Or was she, if no one saw her doing it?

God, that one mandatory philosophy course had really messed with her head.

Someone coughed, in that polite but poignant manner that let you know you really shouldn’t have been ignoring them but that they were a nice enough person not to let it turn them into an asshole anyway.

Maia looked up and found that the ready customer service smile she’d instinctually put on was now aimed at Magnus Bane.

“Good evening,” he said. “Slow night?”

She probably shouldn’t have, but Magnus was the sort of person who made you feel like it was safe to divulge secrets. Like the cool uncle whom you always obeyed when he told you to do something but who sometimes looked the other way with a playful wink when it really mattered.

Crap. She really shouldn’t think about stuff like that. It certainly didn’t make not having heard from Uncle André for years any easier.

“More like an exam tomorrow.”

Magnus smiled. “What subject?”

“Marine biology.” Maia pushed her book away before anyone else would see it. “What can I get you tonight?”

Magnus waved his hand. “Something bright and sweet this time, please. College?”

“Online class,” Maia said as she picked up the vodka. “But eventually, fingers crossed, Columbia.”

“A worthy goal. Thank you.” Magnus raised the glass Maia handed to him just a little. “I’ll drink to your success.”

 

\---

 

5.

“A beer,” the man said as he sat down by the counter and gave Maia a smile that looked like the most tiring kind of trouble.

Maia gave him a perfunctory smile and handed over a bottle. “Anything else?”

The man’s smile widened in what he probably thought was a fun way. “Are you on the menu?”

Maia suppressed her sigh and quietly accepted that her night would suck.

She was right. The man – who at some point tried to introduce himself but Maia let his name slip in from one ear and out from the other – nursed his beer for an hour before ordering a new one, but he didn’t need to be drunk to be trouble. Maia gritted her teeth and kept up the required service worker pleasantries and, in some of her lowest moments, kind of hoped that the whole situation would provoke her to turn.

She’d regret it later if it happened, but if she had to listen to one more word from his mouth, she really was going to need more effective teeth to make her feelings known.

The man had just ordered a second beer and was clearly working up to another lewd suggestion he probably thought was subtle – she knew he was because he got a certain expression every time that happened – when someone else sat down at the counter.

“Ah, Maia,” she heard, some sort of relief washing over her at the voice, “I didn’t know you’d be working tonight, what a wonderful surprise.”

She turned around, and for once that evening, her smile was genuine. “Hi, Magnus. What can I get you?”

“A martini, please.” He subtly turned his back to the man with the beer, his presence commandeering almost the entire counter. It wasn’t how he usually sat at a bar, and Maia wondered how much he understood of the interaction he’d interrupted.

Probably a lot, she thought as she returned with his finished drink to see that the other man had taken his beer and retreated to – somewhere out of Maia’s line of sight, it was irrelevant. He seemed like the kind of man who was decent like that.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” she said, giving him another genuine smile. “Busy time of year?”

“I’m busy twelve months a year.” Magnus took a sip of his drink. “I’ve focused a lot on my club.”

Maia nodded in acknowledgement. She’d been to Pandemonium; it was hard to know anyone in Downworld New York who hadn’t. She was more of a cosy little bar kind of girl, but she could see why Magnus would periodically prefer to take his drinks somewhere where they’d be offered to him without his literally having to lift a finger.

“And you?” Magnus asked. “Combining studying and work can be difficult, I hope you get some free time in between.”

Maia felt her eyebrow rise; she wasn’t sure why she’d assumed he wouldn’t remember. Magnus seemed like the kind of guy who never forgot.

“I make do.”

He stayed at the counter for over an hour, and when he finally left, the earlier man did not come back.

 

\---

 

6.

Maia looked up as the bell by the door sounded a few times. It had been a slow night, and she’d been just about ready to pull out her textbook again (there were only so many times you could make sure the glasses were still clean). Still, she couldn’t exactly mourn the lost possibility of study time when she saw her favourite customer.

“Hi, Magnus,” she said. “Love the outfit.”

It _was_ magnificent, a slightly sheer deep-cut silk shirt that showed off Magnus’s toned chest and trousers that somehow managed to both be flowy and revealing. He looked like he’d got lost on his way to his own club and had somehow ended up at Hunter’s Moon instead.

As he took a seat opposite her, though, she only needed one look at his face to notice that Magnus himself obviously wasn’t as put-together as his appearance.

Not that he didn’t make the attempt to seem like he was. “Thank you. You’re, of course, stunning as usual.”

Maia thanked him, and got him the double whiskey he requested. Magnus downed his drink uncharacteristically quickly, and ordered another, and it wasn’t really part of her job, but she cared about him, he was a good person, and it was blatantly obvious this was not just some light pre-gaming before hitting his club. For someone else it might have been, but when Magnus Bane behaved with the same level of grace as an ordinary mortal, something was not quite right.

“How have you been?” she asked. “For a while there, I thought Pandemonium might have poached you altogether from our clientele.”

Magnus smiled at her, but it wasn’t genuinely happy. She would know. “And miss out on chat with my favourite bartender?”

“That wasn’t an answer to the question.”

Magnus looked down at the empty glass in his hand, his deliberate breathing just about audible in the quiet bar.

“Do you ever,” he asked after a few breaths, “just know that someone could make you and themselves very happy, and yet be powerless to stop them from embracing a lifetime of misery?”

Unbidden, Maia’s thoughts flicked to Jordan, and she had to stop her hand from shooting up to cover the scars at the side of her neck. It was nowhere the same thing, and she wasn’t really comfortable talking about it with anyone. She’d told Luke, but Luke was not anyone, he was Luke.

“Not exactly,” she said. “But I know that sometimes having feelings really _sucks_.”

Magnus finally met her gaze. One side of his mouth curled up. “I’ll drink to that.”

She moved to oblige him with a new drink. He drank it slower, but there was still a very clear aura of melancholy about him that was painful to see. Magnus was always kind- Well, no, Maia had witnessed him verbally eviscerating a good handful of people. But he had always been kind to her, and Maia was really bad at reassurances but-

“Hey,” she said. “I don’t pretend to know just what’s going on, but that person? If they really could make you happy, they’ll stop themselves and not expect you to do all the work.”

Magnus looked up sharply, and he didn’t magically become a picture of cheerfulness, but at least he smiled at her with his whole mouth.

Sometimes the important thing about reassurances was that you showed you cared enough to try.

 

\---

 

7.

Maia took a breath. And made herself take another one.

And another one after that.

She tried to focus on her surroundings, the distant sound of cars beyond the docks, the echoes of the loud voices of her pack members from inside the Jade Wolf, on the gravel that she was sitting on and also uselessly grasping as if it could anchor her.

It got easier, after a moment. But not so easy that she could have brought herself to go back in.

“Mind if I join you?”

Maia startled, and desperately tried to keep any tears to herself as she looked up to spot Magnus standing just a few feet away.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had business with Luke,” Magnus said as he gracefully sat down, “and I thought I’d drop by to see what Simon’s decorating sense is like, but then I saw you.”

Simon? Maia’s brain hit a blank for a good few seconds until she remembered. The vampire in the boathouse that Gretel had been complaining about. She hadn’t realised Magnus knew him. It shouldn’t have been surprising, though; he seemed to know everyone in the whole Downworld.

“You can go.” Maia looked away, as if that would fool him. “You must be busy.”

“Never too busy for you.” Magnus’s voice was full of sympathy and understanding. “But I don’t want to impose on you if you’d rather be alone. What do you need?”

Someplace to cry for the whole day, maybe. But while Magnus could provide her that, she couldn’t, the pack would wonder where she’d gone, she’d just told Gretel she’d pop out for a moment, and she’d have work in the evening and-

He was too good at this, Maia thought abruptly. Too good not to have thought about what he’d like to hear himself.

“I just need a moment,” she said. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“I’m sure Simon can wait for a moment.” With a flick of his fingers, Magnus had two cups of tea in his hands. He offered the other one to Maia. “It’s the afternoon, he’s not going anywhere.”

Maia blew at the surface of the hot liquid. It felt calming to focus on holding the cup upright, and the warmth against her fingers was welcome in the crisp autumn air.

Neither of them said anything for a while as they sipped their teas, but Maia didn’t really wish for conversation. Maybe it should have felt like an added weight on her to have Magnus there; he was rich, famous and powerful, the leader of a people, and even besides all that, most of the times they met, her customer. But it didn’t. There was something about him, something that just let her breathe a little easier, that made her feel like someone else had voluntarily taken on some of her weight, even if just for a moment. He was present without adding pressure.

It didn’t make things okay, of course. But it made it all feel a little more bearable.

“I should get back inside,” she said once they’d both finished the tea.

Magnus stood up along with her and took the empty cup from her hands. “And I to see Simon.”

Maia almost ran off without saying anything more. It was a little embarrassing now, to think about the state he’d found her in. But she’d been raised to have manners.

“Thank you,” she said to Magnus’s very nice boots. “It was really nice of you-“

She had nothing to continue the sentence with, so it ended incomplete.

“Kindnesses must be paid forwards. Think nothing of it.” The teacups had disappeared from Magnus’s hands. Being a warlock had to be really useful, sometimes. “Have a good day, Maia.”

Maia was a little surprised by how genuine her smile felt. “You too.”

 

\---

 

8.

The first time Maia heard of Alec Lightwood, she didn’t catch his name.

To be fair to her, the man who was in no small part responsible for her friend’s death didn’t even mention it.

Not that she’d have troubled herself with it if he had. All she cared about in the moment was getting an eye for an eye; any accidental casualties were not her problem.

It was only in a dark alley after a very long chase that she considered that maybe an eye wasn’t what she wanted, and even then, her conflicted heart was not caused by some abstract thought of a dying shadowhunter she’d never met, but out of some uninvited empathy for the broken man who desperately sought for it, pleading for his brother’s life in front of her.

She didn’t ask Luke about it on their way back to the Jade Wolf, either. Why would she? Whether one shadowhunter lived or died was none of her concern.

Or at least so she thought, as Magnus Bane walked into Hunter’s Moon yet again, calm and cheerful as always yet ever-measured in his movements.

It wasn’t surprising; she was a bartender, she’d heard all the gossip about the pretty eventful few weeks he’d had. How the details about Camille Belcourt had got out, she didn’t know, because Magnus was hardly the type to blab, and neither was Raphael Santiago. Truth be told, she was glad to know he likely had a lot on his mind, because it meant he’d be less likely to recall how they’d last met.

“Dare I ask how you’ve been?” she said as she got him his cocktail.

Some mirth fought its way into Magnus’s eyes. “I’m sure your clientele has kept everyone in this bar well up to date.”

Maia couldn’t deny that. But-

“It’s not the same.”

“It is not.” Magnus’s smile was lopsided but his eyes were in it. “I have never been fond of rollercoasters, but I seem to have made it out unscathed.”

Maia raised her own water glass in mock salute. “Cheers to that.”

Magnus raised his glass in reply, and added, after a beat of silence, “Can I ask you for a recommendation?”

“Sure. About what?”

“It turns,” Magnus didn’t usually seem unsure, and maybe he wasn’t so now, either; maybe it was more disbelief, “out that I didn’t have to do all the work. But I’d like to do some, now that there’s something to work on. I know he hated a cocktail I made him once so maybe he’s more of a beer man, but that’s hardly my area of expertise. What would you recommend?”

Privately, Maia would have recommended dumping anyone who drank beer, but she remembered the conversation they’d had. And she could see the happiness even this roundabout mention brought to Magnus’s whole demeanour. Plus she’d heard about that shadowhunter wedding through various grapevines, although everyone seemed to be a little fuzzy on the details. She had the vague impression that Simon might have been there, for whatever reason, but she didn’t want to actively pry into Magnus’s love life and ask.

Anyway, by all accounts if the shadowhunter in question had gone from the bizarre misjudgement of turning down someone as great as Magnus to the mere infringement of being a beer drinker, that was certainly a change for the positive.

“This is a really popular IPA,” she said, pointing at one of the taps. “It’s what I sell everyone who just asks for a beer. Haven’t had any complaints so far.”

 

\---

 

9.

“And this is where I’m going to set up the bar.” Magnus made a sweeping gesture at the wall that had just seconds before been covered with bookshelves. “That door leads to a room that I’ll empty to be the stock room.”

“Wow,” Maia said. “I’m starting to understand why they say that warlocks throw the best parties.”

“They say it because it’s true.” Magnus pretended to check his nails, before smiling at Maia again. “Thank you for agreeing to take the job on such short notice, we were quite caught unaware by the necessity.”

“No problem.” Maia laughed. “Before you called, my plans included Netflix in my PJs and trying to-“

The door slammed, accompanied by a loud voice and two distinct sounds of footsteps.

“I stand behind it,” said someone.

The second voice made Maia freeze. “I can’t believe you said that to her.”

The owners of the voices turned a corner and came into Maia and Magnus’s line of sight.

“There you are,” Magnus said, and like from a great distance, Maia noticed how warmly he said it.

She didn’t have the focus to examine that deeper. She was far too busy staring into the (equally caught off-guard) eyes of a man she’d recently tried to wipe off the face of the earth.

“Perhaps introductions are in order,” Magnus said, a question in his tone. “Maia, this is Alec Lightwood, my boyfriend, and his brother-“

“She knows,” Jace blurted. “Me. She knows me. We’ve met.”

“If you say ‘book club’ one more time-“ Magnus’s boyfriend started, but Jace interrupted him.

“She’s the werewolf that tried to kill me.”

“You- Here.” The pieces locked together in Maia’s brain, like they’d known all along where they belonged but she’d just neglected to let them fall into place. “You were coming here, because your brother is-“

Because his brother was the man that just days ago had bought Magnus Bane the first gift he’d received in years.

Maia had almost got Magnus’s someone special killed.

For a few seconds, they were all just wildly looking at each other, letting the connections between themselves form.

Magnus spoke first.

“Well,” he said, “this has been a surprise. Jace, there are boxes in the lobby that you should go carry up here, we’re going to need them.”

There was such unquestioned authority in his voice that not even Jace Wayland could think to challenge it. He accepted the dismissal without complaint and slinked out of the door with one last bewildered look at Maia.

“Alec-“

Magnus’s voice was no longer a command when he addressed his boyfriend, and Alec Lightwood didn’t seem to need one to understand his meaning.

“You mentioned someone should call about the ice sculpture,” he said. “I’m... going to go and do that.”

And with a warm smile, he was out the door, leaving Maia alone with Magnus.

“I-“ She had no idea what to say. ‘Sorry I almost indirectly killed your boyfriend’ wasn’t a sentiment she’d ever thought she’d have to express. “I didn’t know-“

Magnus’s hand, lightly raised, stopped her words. His face was a blank mask.

“I’m sure you had your reasons,” Magnus said, voice quiet. “I’d rather not think about the whole episode, so I’ll not ask. I’m very sorry about your friend.”

Maia nodded. She wasn’t sure if he wanted to just drop the whole thing, but she had to say it, nevertheless. “I’m sorry about the pain I caused you. I had no idea it was him.”

“I suppose it’s a blessing that the Downworld gossip doesn’t pass on everything,” Magnus said. “And I was certainly very cryptic about Alec with you.”

He breathed in and smiled at her. Maia smiled back and knew in her heart that Magnus would never allude to the whole thing again nor hold it against her. She supposed it was one good thing about immortality; you had to gain perspective and not get caught up in could have beens.

Nevertheless, she was very glad to escape the penthouse as soon as possible, mercifully without seeing any shadowhunters again.

 

“Wow,” Simon said as he fiddled with his jacket. “That’s... Awkward.”

Maia snorted. “You think?”

Simon made a gesture of acknowledgement. “Are you still coming to the party?”

“Yeah.” Not going had ceased to be an option when Magnus had been so considerate about the whole thing. There had been a pause in his voice – a silent offering – when he’d made a portal for her and said he’d see her later, but Maia hadn’t taken it. She had no particular love for the thought of a shadowhunter party, but she trusted Magnus and besides, her jacket collection didn’t grow itself. Magnus paid even more generously than he tipped. “Just hoping Jace doesn’t drink all that much.”

“I don’t know,” Simon said. “He seems like a fratboy. Is that weird? Like, obviously he’s never been to college, because, shadowhunters, but if he had, he’d so be an obnoxious fratboy, right?”

He would. Maia smiled at Simon. “Pretty sure Magnus is way too classy to allow keg stands.”

“Small mercies,” Simon said before his attention was once again caught in trying to set his clothes straight.

Maia sighed and looked away. Simon had always struck her as a happy person, but he seemed even moreso, after- That was good, of course, she understood how entering the Downworld turned your whole life upside down and how tough it was, and it was good that he had got something good started nevertheless, but still...

It just hurt, a little, to think that if things had been a little different, she might have been able to rely on him in a completely different way. Because while entering the Downworld could be hard, living in it was no cakewalk either.

 

The party proved to be slightly more tolerable than Maia had imagined. Maybe that was because the worst that the Institute could offer had skipped the party altogether due to the location and host, but she’d yet to run into something that would need more than grinding her teeth together to survive.

Well, aside from having to chat with Jace Wayland, who seemed to think it was funny to rile her up, but it wasn’t like Maia didn’t have a lot of experience with cocky assholes. A fraction of the time, it was even somewhat enjoyable to craft retorts against him.

Of course, just as she was beginning to feel relieved about how well everything was going, Alec Lightwood had to appear out of the crowd and come up to the counter.

“Hi.”

She hoped it didn’t show that she felt like she’d suddenly been plunged into ice water. “Hello.”

“We didn’t really get a proper introduction earlier. Alec.”

She took his hand, although offering it to a ravenously hungry lion might have felt more preferable. “Maia.”

“I know.”

He didn’t say anything else, so Maia had to, desperate to pretend like this was a usual customer interaction.

“Have you had a good time tonight?”

“Wh- Um, yes,” Alec said. “Yeah, I have. Mostly. I’ve been trying to focus on Max.”

Maia wished he’d go. “You must be very proud.”

Alec got a softer look in his eye, and completely unbidden, Maia hoped he also used that look with Magnus. She’d seen something vaguely similar on his face, he deserved to get it back.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Where’s Max right now?”

It was all too blatant a hint that she couldn’t stop on time. Luckily, it didn’t come out as impolite as it could have.

“Last time I saw, he was listening to the vampire chattering on and on about some mundane comic books.”

She arched her eyebrow at that. It had been pretty obvious when the subject came up that Simon and Alec were not the most cordial of friends, and Maia didn’t care who Alec Lightwood respected or didn’t, but she did care what tone people used about her friends in her presence.

“I’d consider my words,” Maia said, the warning clear in her even tone. Being polite was exhausting, and she only had so much stamina. “I like Simon. You, I’m still making up my mind about.”

Alec gave her an appraising look, a departure from his hitherto impersonal casualness, and almost immediately afterwards a smile, so whatever he’d been appraising, Maia had clearly passed. Not that she cared.

“You’ve made quite an impression on Jace,” was what he said next. Clearly he’d taken her change of gears to imply that the inane chitchat was over. “He’s not used to his charm failing him.”

Maia looked at him closely, unsure at what he was getting at. It sounded like a casual remark, but- Well, if Maia had had his way, Alec wouldn’t be here mingling with guests and exchanging looks with Magnus every chance he got, and Maia wouldn’t be here either because Magnus would probably be mourning the loss of his boyfriend somewhere alone instead of throwing parties for random shadowhunter kids. It was quite hard to see the remark as casual when she could hardly deny she felt guilty about the whole thing, at least from this angle.

Perhaps it would be best to abandon even the last pretence and get straight to the point.

“Look, I’m sorry about that,” she said, looking away. Obviously it wasn’t Alec’s fault he’d almost died, but- She wasn’t sorry about hunting Jace, not really. It made her feel like Alec had something he could lord over her, and that simultaneously made her want to bite but feel like she couldn’t. It was not a good feeling. “I didn’t know-“

“You didn’t.” Alec fiddled with his glass. She obviously wasn’t the only person who felt awkward about the interaction. “And you don’t need to be sorry. Jace... didn’t exactly put his best foot forwards, with you.”

“And that makes it okay with you for me to try to kill him?”

Alec raised an eyebrow and gave her a wry smile. “I grew up with him. Trust me, I understand the urge.”

Maia laughed. It was instinctual, she had no hope of suppressing it, probably because yeah, that was exactly what she’d figured being close to Jace Wayland would be like. Somehow, Alec had managed to clear the air. She could now look at him without simply seeing a flurry of guilt.

He’d make a good leader, she found herself thinking. Maybe diplomacy with shadowhunters would be slightly more tolerable if it was to be conducted with the Alec Lightwoods of the world.

Alec seemed to sense the lessening tension as well, giving her a slightly awkward smile. There were worse people at this party to talk to.

“Speaking of your brother,” she said in a decidedly lighter tone, nodding towards Alec’s empty glass, “I was just trying to persuade him to have some sangria but he refused. Do you have better taste?”

Alec made a sweeping gesture, his smile an odd mix of judgement and softness. “I’m dating the man who put all of this together. Jace could never.”

Maia took that to mean agreement, and handed over a full glass. “Just checking. Magnus thought you might be a beer kind of guy when he asked me for alcohol recommendations.”

Alec frowned lightly, thinking, until his face cleared. “So you were his bartender friend with the IPA?”

“The one and only. Was it good?”

Alec took a sip of the sangria. “I- Eh, turns out I’m not much of a beer fan. But I’m sure it’s a very good brand.”

Maia found herself smiling at him. “As I was just saying, beer’s boring, anyway.”

 

“I can’t believe you _bonded_ with Alec Lightwood!”

Maia raised an eyebrow. “I’d hardly call it bonding.”

The semantics didn’t seem to appease Simon’s agitation. “I mean, I get that he likes you, you’re great, why wouldn’t everyone like you? But- But, he’s Alec, it took me weeks to even realise that he was physically capable of smiling!”

“You’ve known him for like, a month.”

“My point exactly!”

Maia shrugged her shoulders. She and Alec had hardly become best friends over the course of one awkward conversation and another more enjoyable one, but overall she’d got a positive impression. He seemed decent, for a shadowhunter.

Although, if it wasn’t for Simon’s insistence on the topic, she certainly would not have been thinking about him the following day.

 

\---

 

10.

Maia closed her eyes and tried to count to ten. It was ineffective, but she couldn’t just open her mouth and scream like she wanted to, so it had to make do.

Besides, she tried telling herself, if she started screaming, she wouldn’t stop, and the sooner she got back to helping, the sooner they could all leave the Institute, and it truly was the last place where she wanted to be right then.

And in any case, what did she have to scream about? She was extremely lucky she wasn’t dead. That put her well ahead of so many members from the pack – her _friends_ – that they were still carrying them out, despite already working for a few hours.

There were steps coming from further in the corridor, and Maia opened her eyes. Her body tensed and she braced for another vaguely distasteful look from a passing shadowhunter.

It was Alec Lightwood. Instead of the look she’d been expecting, he offered her a water bottle as he reached her.

“I figured you could use that,” he said.

She took the bottle, hoping Alec would go, but he didn’t, so they just stood in silence, looking slightly past each other. It was an awkward situation, but to be fair to Alec, there was no way Maia was going to have a pleasant interaction with a shadowhunter – any shadowhunter – right then.

“I probably could,” Maia eventually said and opened the bottle.

Alec didn’t move on as she downed most of the bottle in practically one gulp.

“Luke was looking for you,” he said eventually. “I- said I’d pass that on, if I saw you.”

Maia swallowed even though her mouth was again empty. She hadn’t been avoiding Luke, not specifically, but she hadn’t been sorry to miss him, either.

She had no idea what she’d even do if she saw him. That was not a feeling she was used to associating with Luke. Comparatively speaking, it was a minor hurt right then, but a gaping wound nevertheless.

“And now you have,” she said.

“Right.” Alec looked at his shoes. “If there’s anything I can help with, let me know.”

Maia could barely bite back the instinctual, venomous request that he turn back time and stop his brother from causing a massacre. Alec had clout in the Institute, and they both knew it; he could genuinely do things that would be impossible for her. It was a kind offer. That didn’t mean Maia was in any mood to receive shadowhunter kindness. Or aid, for that matter. They’d already done enough damage with that.

Alec nodded, probably seeing her thoughts clear enough on her face, and finally left Maia in peace.

Maia closed her eyes again as Alec’s steps grew quieter with distance. She took a deep breath, pushed the half-empty water bottle into her back pocket and got back to work.

 

\---

 

11.

The next time Maia saw Alec, stepping into the Hunter’s Moon and holding the door open for a pair of seelies on their way out, her first thought was a bizarre form of panic and an irrational feeling of ‘I should have known Jace Herondale was the bragging type’.

Nevertheless, she’d already punched one shadowhunter in the very same venue, and she wasn’t about to slink out of the way of another. That was her instinctual reaction before her brain caught up to her and reminded her that Alec Lightwood was probably too good at diplomacy to be delivering blood-curdling shovel talks just days after almost watching an all-out war erupt right under his nose.

Or maybe she was giving him too much benefit of the doubt. Or Magnus Bane’s tastes, for that matter; Maia liked him, and thought him a good and sensible person. It was hard to think his type would be ‘arrogant asshole’. But you never knew.

However, Alec didn’t look particularly belligerent as he walked up to the counter.

“Good evening.”

“Evening,” Maia said. “Can I get you anything?”

“A martini, please.”

Maia tilted her head. “I see Magnus has rubbed off on you.”

Alec ducked his head, but it didn’t manage to hide the smile. “Not quite. I’m trying to acquire a taste for them since they’re his go-to. It hasn’t been entirely successful so far.”

Maia mixed the drink quickly. The night was on the calmer side, but she could sense the change in atmosphere around the half-empty bar that the arrival of a shadowhunter had caused. It was not openly hostile, but it was certainly wary.

She wondered if Alec had noticed.

“Speaking of Magnus,” she asked as Alec sipped on his drink and Maia pretended to clean the counter, “are you waiting for him?”

“Not yet,” Alec said. “He’s currently in a meeting in San Francisco that I can only hope will end before midnight. Actually, I came here to see you.”

Maia tensed, but the only thing she let Alec see was a raised eyebrow. Maybe she’d overestimated his good sense after all. “What for?”

“Jace reported that he’d removed that chip they shouldn’t have installed in the first place,” Alec said. “I was in the neighbourhood and thought I’d drop by to see how you were doing.”

Maia frowned. “So this is the new Clave policy? Royally mess up now and make apologies later?”

“I doubt the Clave’s quite at the stage yet where they make apologies,” Alec said without any acknowledgement of how damning a statement it was. “The only order that sent me here was my own.”

Maia maintained her expression. “And why’d you give yourself an order like that?”

“Jace made me the Head of the Institute,” Alec said. Maia nodded; she’d heard. “And I know I can’t just pretend all of those mistakes didn’t happen or that I had nothing to do with them, but-” He looked at her, gaze steady. “That’s not the way I intend to run the Institute. We can’t continue pulling stunts like that like it’s nothing and I don’t plan to. And part of that is coming to see you to check if there are any amends I or the Institute can make to you.”

Maia fumbled with the glasses she’d been idly organising. She hadn’t expected this earnest talk. Granted, she was not going to take it as gospel; it had been pretty obvious the previous Head of the Institute hadn’t meant to almost spark a war either. But it showed intent, and at least a little understanding. She remembered the last time she’d seen Alec, decent and cooperative even when viewed through the lens of intense grief she’d had at the time. It was a sustained effort, and that was more than she could say for most. That was enough to make her blurt out the first thing that came to mind when looking Alec in the eye.

“I slept with your brother.”

For a second, Alec looked like he was going to spit out the wine he’d just sipped, but he got it under control. “Not to judge, but you could do better.”

The laugh was startled out of her. Her first proper talk with Alec was hardly one to be forgotten, but time and other things had let it fade from her memory how well-versed Alec was in the idea that you could care for someone and still see their shortcomings very clearly.

“To be honest,” she said when she got it under control again, Alec watching her with a smile, “I kind of thought you’d come here to talk about that.”

Alec looked vaguely ill at the suggestion. “The less I have to think about Jace’s sex life, the better.”

Maia snorted. “That’s a healthy view to take on it.”

The left corner of Alec’s mouth rose a little into a lop-sided smile. “If only he had your good sense.” He shook his head, as if physically banishing whatever thought had led to that comment. “Let’s change the subject.”

“Gladly.” Maia leaned on the counter. “Congrats, by the way. On the promotion.”

“Thank you,” Alec said. “I’ll try to be worth the position.”

“A little bird told me you got it by sheer nepotism.” She couldn’t help it. And Alec had acted pretty decent so far; he could probably take a joke. “So that shouldn’t be too hard.”

She’d been right; Alec laughed.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. Speaking of which-” His expression sobered; Maia could practically see him morph from a regular guy into the shadowhunter leader he was. “Have you spoken to Luke?”

Maia shook her head. “Not about anything that would interest you. How so?”

“I was hoping to get your opinion on something. That’s the other reason I came.”

Maia leaned in, just a little. She couldn’t help but be intrigued. “Shoot.”

“I’m trying to set up a meeting with all the Downworld leaders of New York,” Alec said. “Something where we could discuss any issues and try to find solutions. Make it a regular thing, if it works, which it hopefully will. What do you think?”

Maia was sure her surprise was visible on her face. By downworlder standards, she was young. But she’d spent a long enough time in the Shadowworld to get a grasp on how things usually went down, and a meeting with representatives from each party? The last time she could think of that anything like that would have happened was the creation of the Accords. That was... something like centuries ago. And even then, she was not sure how many shadowhunter representatives the Clave had wanted to fix the numbers to their advantage.

“Sounds like diplomacy,” she said as the silence stretched between them. “Why are you asking me?”

Alec tilted his head slightly, a tiny hint of a smile on his lips. “Luke always speaks very highly of you, and from my own experience, he’s absolutely right to. I value your opinion. Besides, it wouldn’t surprise me if you became the leader of the pack someday. I’m just laying the groundwork for possible cooperation early.”

Maia looked him in the eye, and Alec didn’t look away. It was a weird feeling, knowing that while she had been watching him and acknowledging his leadership potential, he’d been doing the same thing to her.

“You’ll excuse me if I’m feeling pretty negative about shadowhunter initiatives at the moment,” she said. “But if I was the new Head of the Institute, I suppose I’d try something like that, too. I hope it works out.”

“Thank you,” Alec said. “For giving your opinion, too. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.”

Another customer walked to the counter to order more drinks, giving Alec a wide berth and a suspicious look. Alec had to notice, too, but he took it in stride, only reacting with a polite smile. Maia passed over the drinks and received the payment, and then gravitated back to where Alec was fiddling with his half-empty glass.

She didn’t need to think of something to comment about his drink to fill the silence; Alec spoke first.

“Magnus mentioned that you’re doing online classes.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Marine biology.”

“Sounds interesting.”

Maia arched an eyebrow. “Your look tells me otherwise.”

Alec shrugged, the vaguely disturbed look gone from his face. “I always found deep-sea creatures a little creepy when I saw them in Izzy’s books growing up, that’s all.”

She couldn’t rein in her laughter. “You hunt demons for a living.”

“They threaten the world we live in unless they’re banished,” Alec said. “Someone has to do it. You can’t say the same for looking into something that lives literally miles below the surface where no one regularly goes.”

It was Maia’s turn to shrug. “Maybe. But anyway, I’m not really into that part of the field either.”

Alec took a sip of his drink. “What are you focused on, then?”

“I’m not that far along in my studies yet, but I’m interested in species conservation and habitat preservation. We only get one planet, there’s other threats to it besides demons.”

Alec nodded. “That’s certainly true.”

They chatted for some more until Alec stood up to leave and paid for his drink.

“About what I said earlier,” he said, a mix of awkward and earnest, “if there’s anything you think of later, Luke has my number.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” She wouldn’t, not really, but she added, in a more genuine note, “Don’t be a stranger. This is a bar, you don’t need work as an excuse to drop by.”

Alec smiled at her. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

\---

 

12.

“Thank you for making the trip,” Magnus said as he held the door to his loft open for Maia to enter. “As you must know, I’m slightly occupied in the moment.”

“So I gathered,” Maia said as she followed Magnus across the loft into his work area. On the surface, the loft looked normal; if she hadn’t known that it was currently housing most of the warlocks in New York, or that most of them were currently on the roof holding up a shield that prevented travel out of the city, she certainly couldn’t have guessed that from her surroundings. Inside the loft, the only thing even a little out of order was the boiling pot on top of Magnus’s desk. “Am I early?”

“By just a few minutes,” Magnus said. “Please take a seat, the potion will be ready to be bottled in a moment. Can I offer you a drink?”

Maia didn’t comment on the presence of the drink cart right next to the desk. Luke had spared no detail in his account to her about the deal with the Seelie Queen. She wanted to ask Magnus if he wanted to talk about it, but something in his demeanour was harder than usual, as if he’d created a shell to contain himself and his feelings inside. Maia doubted he’d want to break it just because she offered a listening ear, nor was she quite sure if she was truly prepared to hear all that he’d say if he took her up on her offer.

Sometimes, it was easy to forget that most of the other downworlders had decades if not centuries on her in terms of age. As things stood right then, though, she found herself thinking about it often. She could only guess what sort of frustration and resentment all that time had built up in the minds of people like Magnus, every single time that they had to swallow an insult only for history to twist it into benevolence or even a privilege, to see the Clave promise time and time again only to reveal the hidden print that voided the spirit of every concession, to see new faces rise through the ranks and wish for a change that would never come. She already had plenty of built-up feelings of her own, and she was young even by mundane standards. Logically, she agreed with Luke that putting so much faith in the Seelie Queen was a huge risk, but in her heart, she could see why Magnus had gone for it, nevertheless.

But all that was hardly something she felt equipped to bring up to the man himself.

Besides, she was only here for an errand. Travis would need that healing salve as quickly as possible, and she could hardly ignore the very real physical pain she’d put him in by being late with it. Not even if it meant leaving the pain Magnus obviously was in unaddressed.

“Non-alcoholic,” she said. “I came by car.”

Magnus handed over a glass of juice, and Maia sipped it quietly, not really sure if there was a safe topic of conversation in such a situation.

She thought about the last time she’d been in the loft, to tend the bar at a shadowhunter party. And now, just some feet above her head, the warlocks of New York were holding up wards that would kill any shadowhunter foolish enough to defy them.

This was not the sort of change she’d hoped for. Probably none of them had.

Magnus bottled the salve, and Maia drained her glass before taking the bottle he offered her.

“Thank you.”

Magnus waved his hand dismissively. “If there’s anything else I can do for you...”

He sounded a little haunted. Maia wanted to reach out and give him a hug. Magnus probably could have used one.

But she didn’t. “I appreciate you taking the time to do this. You must be exhausted.”

“Nothing I haven’t been a thousand times before,” Magnus said, but the sadness shining through his confident mask spoke louder than his words.

She wondered what it was costing him to put that mask on anyway.

Maia left the loft feeling more tired than a simple errand should have rendered her. As she stepped out of the building, she couldn’t help looking up. Nothing really seemed different, and maybe that was the worst part.

 

\---

 

13.

“Isn’t it weird to come here on your days off?” Simon asked as he held the door to the Hunter’s Moon open for Maia. “I mean, I worked at this ice cream parlour when I was fifteen, and man, by the end of the summer I kind of hated the sight of ice cream. I mean, ice cream! Who hates ice cream?”

“I don’t know,” Maia said as they walked in. “It’s cosy. Plus, I never just sit around when I’m at work, there’s a difference.”

“That makes sense.” Simon looked around the bar. “And to be honest, I ate a lot of free ice cream that summer, so that might be the reason I got sick of it, not just that I was arou- Look, there’s Magnus and Alec!”

Maia didn’t really need Simon’s pointed finger for her eyes to dart to the billiard table. She’d witnessed a few of their dates, and that was where they always ended up.

“We should go say hi,” Simon went on as they watched Magnus down a ball.

“I’m not sure if they’d really like that,” Maia said. “They’re obviously on a date.”

Simon’s smile was wide and happy, the kind that always did something to Maia’s heart. She’d made his face do that. It was a heady feeling. “So’re we.”

“Exactly.” Maia raised an eyebrow. “Do you really want to double-date with one of your downworld father figures?”

A fleeting horror passed through Simon’s expression. “Point taken. We didn’t see them.”

They got drinks and settled into a booth. Simon was in an even ramblier mood than usual, it seemed, but Maia couldn’t bring herself to mind, considering that any kind of Simon across her here was better than a Simon that had foolishly went into the Seelie realm like a very sweet sacrificial lamb, just to save her.

Besides, he was very cute when he was recounting stories about himself as a kid trying to teach his sister to ride a bike.

Her thoughts returned to Magnus and Alec just for a moment when she glanced at the door right when they were leaving, Alec’s arm resting against the small of Magnus’s back while Magnus seemed to be fixing up Alec’s scarf, both of them smiling, whatever had come between them obviously now behind them.

It was weird to think how short a time was required for such drastic changes back and forth. The months behind them had been a whirlwind of horrors and happiness layered on top of each other in turns, but watching one happy couple leave the bar while being one half of another that was staying, Maia couldn’t help but feel optimistic for the future.

There would be another twist in their fortunes, and probably soon enough, that was for certain. But before that, they had this evening, and room for hope that whatever would come next, it would be no worse than what they’d already overcome. And even though the relationships could become strained almost to the point of breaking sometimes, right then Maia allowed herself to imagine that they’d weather any future storms and come out stronger at the end of it.

She nudged Simon’s foot under the table and smiled. He had no idea why, his back to the door, but he smiled back at her anyway. They didn’t really need a reason.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/forgetmequite)!


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